A Strange Kind of Homesickness

Very deep and honest!

rondelet by Cara

Going back to France this time was a grand project. A challenge. Something motivating and exciting.

I hadn’t felt that motivated and excited in a long time—probably not since the last time I was in France. Last summer and fall, whenever I talked about going back to France, I lit up. Besides fitting snugly into the new “plan” I’d outlined for myself, it just felt right.

I envisioned this séjour as a fresh start, the easy answer to the complex, convoluted, and downright tough questions I’ve been grappling with. About who I was versus who I am now, about what I really want out of life and how to get it.

But answers don’t come easily and fixes aren’t quick, no matter how drastically you change your life.

I made my drastic change. I moved to Paris—PARIS for goodness sake, one of the most beautiful cities in the world!—and I quickly fell into a funk.

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At…

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